i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
