"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
