I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
