fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize