i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
