Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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