i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
