That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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