That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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