whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
