If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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