Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
