Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
