Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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