I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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