Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
