Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
