I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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