the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize