Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
