I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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