Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
