Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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