Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
No subtext here. People are naked.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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