i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
