You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
