and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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