and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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