Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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