Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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