After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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