Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
