Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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