My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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