I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
