And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
