did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
