Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
