why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
