HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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