Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
