Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize