you guys were way drunker than both of me
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
