brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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