You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
