I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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