And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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