i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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