come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
