Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize