can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
