I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
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my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
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lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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