First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
