i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
