all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
