have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
