I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
