At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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