the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
