her vagina looked like bernie madoff
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
