i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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