More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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