Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize