all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
