My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
