i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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