my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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