So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
