oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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