singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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