May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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