Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need to calm my uterus...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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