Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Randomize
